Helping an Elderly Parent With Social Security: Account and Calls

To help an elderly parent with Social Security, start by sitting down together while they create their own my Social Security account, since nobody else is allowed to create it for them. From that account they can change direct deposit, print a benefit letter and name who should manage their benefits someday. Social Security won't discuss their record with you on your own word or your power of attorney. It takes your parent on the call, a signed consent form, or an appointment from Social Security itself.

That last part catches a lot of families off guard, so here's how each piece works.

Who can do what

A power of attorney doesn't appear in the right-hand column, and that's on purpose. More on that below.

Setting up my Social Security, together

Social Security's own advice to families is to help a loved one create a personal my Social Security account, and if they aren't comfortable online, to sit with them and walk through it. That's the right instinct, because the account has to be theirs.

The rules say so plainly. Login.gov's rules of use require that the identity you verify is your own, and SSA's account FAQs (linked below) say each person creates their own account with their own email and shouldn't share it with anyone. Typing in Mom's details on your laptop while she's in the next room is exactly what those rules are about.

What your parent needs, per SSA's account setup page:

• To be 18 or older, with a valid email address
• A sign-in service: Login.gov (SSA's default suggestion for people in the U.S.) or ID.me (the one that also works for people living outside the U.S.)
• For Login.gov, an email, a government-issued photo ID and a phone number. For ID.me, an email, photo ID and a device with a camera
• About 5 to 20 minutes for the one-time identity check

A few snags worth knowing before you start, all from SSA's account FAQs:

• Their own email. SSA says each person needs a unique email address and shouldn't share an account or email with anyone, a spouse included. If your parents share "smithfamily@" from 2004, one of them needs a new address first.
• No cell phone is fine. Security codes can go to a landline by voice call, or use backup codes or a security key.
• The old username is gone. Since June 7, 2025, Login.gov and ID.me are the only ways in. If Dad remembers "a Social Security password" from years ago, it won't work now.

If identity checks keep failing, SSA's help FAQ says to contact the local Social Security office, by appointment.

What to do once it's open

Spend ten more minutes while you're both there. According to SSA, the account lets your parent:

• Review benefit information and print a benefit verification letter or tax form
• Update address, phone and direct deposit
• Request a replacement Social Security or Medicare card, if eligible
• Choose to get notices online
• Name someone to manage benefits if they ever can't, called advance designation

The password stays with your parent. What you write down is that the account exists, which sign-in service they used, and which email it's tied to, so that when the "I can't get in" call comes, you know where to start.

Changing direct deposit

New bank, closed account, or a move into assisted living with a new credit union down the hall. SSA's direct deposit page and its identity page together give these routes:

1. Online. Your parent signs in and updates it. SSA calls this the fastest way. For some benefit types the site will say they need to call instead.
2. Through the bank. Many banks can send the new account details to Social Security directly through Automated Enrollment (ENR). Not every bank offers it, so ask.
3. By phone, with a code. Since April 28, 2025, phone changes need a one-time code. Your parent gets it at ssa.gov/PIN by signing in to my Social Security, then reads it to the representative at 1-800-772-1213.
4. In person. If none of that works, your parent proves their identity at a Social Security office. SSA's identity page says no appointment is needed if they're only changing direct deposit, though the direct deposit page now steers people to schedule one, so call ahead.

The identity page also says benefits keep arriving on schedule at the bank already on file, so nothing needs re-verifying unless the account changes.

If your parent was one of the last holdouts on paper checks: SSA stopped issuing paper benefit checks starting September 30, 2025. The options are direct deposit or the Direct Express prepaid card for people without a bank account. And per the identity page, someone who still gets a paper check has to visit an office before changing their mailing address.

Why Social Security won't talk to you

You call, explain you're the daughter, give Mom's Social Security number and birthday, and the agent politely declines. It feels absurd. It's also the rule working as intended.

SSA's manual says it releases a person's information to a third party based on their written, signed consent. Knowing the numbers proves nothing, since scammers often have them too. And the same section says a power of attorney is "generally not acceptable" as that consent, because it usually doesn't contain everything the consent rules require.

For the money itself, the line is even firmer. SSA's representative payee FAQ says being an authorized representative, having power of attorney or sharing a joint bank account with your parent doesn't give legal authority to manage their Social Security benefits. The Treasury doesn't recognize a power of attorney for federal payments. Your power of attorney still matters for the bank, the pension and everything else, which our guide to representative payee vs. power of attorney sorts out.

The options that actually work

Your parent on the call

The simplest one. Call together on speaker, let your parent answer the identity questions, and have them tell the representative you're there to help. Families often report that agents will then talk with both of you, but we couldn't find any SSA rule that promises it. SSA's published disclosure rules are built around written consent, so how much an agent discusses with you is their call. If your parent can't follow the conversation well enough to answer for themselves, expect this route to stall.

For a shorter wait, SSA's publication on protecting your number suggests calling between 8 and 10 a.m. local time or later in the day, and says Wednesday to Friday and later in the month are less busy.

Form SSA-3288 for specific records

SSA-3288, Consent for Release of Information, lets your parent tell Social Security to release particular items to you: current benefit amount, payments over a date range, Medicare entitlement dates, specific notices. What trips people up:

• It must name specific records. SSA won't honor "any and all records" or "the entire file."
• Unless it says otherwise, it's good for one use, and the form says it's valid for one year from the signature (90 days if it includes medical records).
• The paper form needs your parent's handwritten signature. SSA's manual describes an electronic version, SSA-3288-OP1, signed and submitted online at ssa.gov/privacy, and it only works as a one-time consent.
• It goes to your parent's local office, found by ZIP code.

It's a records release, not a standing "talk to my daughter" permission. Our authorized representative guide covers it alongside the Medicare, bank and IRS versions, plus Form SSA-1696 for when there's a claim or appeal in progress.

Advance designation, while your parent is still in charge

This one is easy to miss. Your parent can name up to three people that Social Security would consider first if they ever need a payee. It's done in my Social Security, by phone at 1-800-772-1213, or at a local office. SSA only contacts the people named if a payee is needed, still checks whether they're suitable, and mails a yearly notice listing the names.

SSA is clear that advance designation isn't a power of attorney and doesn't appoint anyone. It's a head start, not a key.

Representative payee, when your parent can't manage it

If your parent can no longer manage or direct the management of their benefits, you apply to Social Security to become their representative payee, starting with form SSA-11, usually face to face. Once appointed, the benefits come to you for your parent. The payee FAQ lists the duties, including:

• Using the money for your parent's current needs, such as food, housing, utilities and medical care
• Saving what's left in an interest-bearing account or savings bonds for them
• Keeping records of every payment and how it was spent or saved, and accounting to SSA when asked
• Reporting changes, like a move or a death, and returning any payments your parent wasn't due
• No fee: SSA never approves an individual payee to charge one

If there's no power of attorney either and your parent can't sign anything, see what to do when a parent can't make decisions and has no power of attorney.

The Social Security scams aimed at your parent

The calls sound official, and that's the whole trick. SSA's scam page boils them down to four signs: they pretend to be from an agency you know, say there's a problem or a prize, pressure you to act now, and want you to pay a specific way, like gift cards, wire transfers, cryptocurrency, gold or cash.

The versions your parent is most likely to hear, from SSA's list:

• "Your Social Security number is suspended."
• "You need to pay, or give personal information, to get your cost-of-living increase."
• "Move your money to a protected account to keep it safe."
• "I'm transferring you to a law enforcement agent." Often with a photo of a badge. SSA says federal employees never send badge photos to demand payment, and that other companies and agencies can't transfer a call directly to SSA.

A September 2026 post on SSA's blog, written by Federal Trade Commission staff, adds two details worth passing on. Impersonators buy search ads that look like the official site, so your parent should type ssa.gov rather than clicking the top result. And the FTC got more than 375,000 reports of government impersonation scams in 2025. SSA's identity page also says Social Security will never text to confirm identity information.

What to set up with your parent:

• Open the my Social Security account, which also turns on the change alerts
• Tape the real number, 1-800-772-1213, by the phone, with a note: "Hang up and call this one yourself"
• Agree on a family safe word for calls that claim to be you
• Know where to report: SSA's Inspector General at oig.ssa.gov/report

If your parent's information has already been stolen, Social Security can Block Electronic Access to their record by phone. Per the same SSA publication, nobody, your parent included, can then see or change the record online or through the automated phone system until they call, prove their identity and ask for it to be lifted. That's real protection with a real cost, so weigh it with them.

If money is already gone, start with what to do in the first 24 hours after a scam. For the phone-call version aimed at grandparents, see the grandparent scam.

What to write down for the binder

None of this helps much if it lives in your head. Keep these together, and see where to keep important documents for the originals:

• Your parent's Social Security claim number and benefit type (retirement, survivor, disability, SSI)
• Whether a my Social Security account exists, the sign-in service (Login.gov or ID.me) and the email it uses. No password
• The bank and last four digits of the account where benefits land, and the usual deposit day
• A recent benefit verification letter
• Their local Social Security office address
• Any SSA-3288 on file: what it covers, date signed, date it expires
• The advance designation: who's named and the date of the latest yearly notice
• The payee appointment letter, if there is one
• A note of past calls: date, what was asked, what you were told

Frequently asked questions

Can I create a my Social Security account for my parent?

No. The account has to be created by the person it belongs to, using their own identity and email, and SSA says not to share accounts. Your parent creates it with their own email and ID, and you can sit with them while they do.

Can I change my parent's direct deposit for them?

Not on your own authority. Your parent can change it online, by phone with a one-time code from ssa.gov/PIN, at a Social Security office, or through their bank's Automated Enrollment. If you're their representative payee, SSA's payee portal handles direct deposit for the people you serve.

Does Social Security accept a power of attorney?

Not for managing benefits, and generally not as consent to release records. You'd need your parent's signed SSA-3288 for records, or a representative payee appointment for the money.

Can my parent give permission over the phone?

They can be on the call and tell the agent you're helping, and many families find that works for simple questions. It's at the agent's discretion, though. For anything you'll need repeatedly, written consent or advance designation is sturdier.

Will Social Security ever call or text my parent?

Not to threaten them. Per SSA, no one from the government will threaten to suspend benefits unless they pay right away, or demand payment by gift card, wire transfer or cryptocurrency, and Social Security won't text asking them to confirm identity information. When in doubt, hang up and call 1-800-772-1213 directly.

If you want the paperwork side handled

You can do all of this with the checklist above and an afternoon with your parent. If you'd rather not assemble it page by page, Emergency Binder Now turns about 25 minutes of guided questions into a printable binder for your parent, with pages that note which accounts and permissions exist, where they're kept and what's still missing. You can see a sample binder first.

This is general information, not legal or financial advice. Social Security procedures change; check current rules at ssa.gov or with your parent's local office.