Caring for a Parent After Surgery at Home: The First 2 Weeks

Caring for a parent after surgery at home mostly comes down to five jobs for the first two weeks: keep pain medicine on schedule, watch for a short list of warning signs, prevent falls, protect the incision, and get fluids, food and short walks into every day. The surgeon's discharge instructions come first, always. This checklist covers what the handout tends to mention in one line, if at all.

If your parent is still in the hospital, start with our hospital discharge checklist.

Before anything else: the discharge papers

Read the discharge instructions all the way through on the first evening. Then copy these five things onto a sheet for the fridge:

• The surgeon's office number, plus the after-hours and weekend number
• Every medicine, with the time each is due
• What your parent can't do yet (lifting, driving, stairs, bending, getting the incision wet)
• When they can shower, and how to protect the dressing
• The date of every follow-up appointment

If anything is missing or unclear, call the surgeon's office the next morning. A five-minute question on day one beats a guess on day four.

Warning signs: call the surgeon, or call 911

Most "call us if" lists skip what goes wrong more often in older adults: confusion, not peeing, not pooping. Here is a fuller version, built from the sources linked in this guide. Tape it by the phone.

MedlinePlus's pulmonary embolus page says to go to the emergency room or call 911 for symptoms of a clot in the lung, and the American College of Surgeons says to call 911 for an opioid overdose. Trouble breathing, chest pain, or a parent you can't wake up gets 911, not a voicemail.

Week one: the checklist

Pain medicine: on schedule, written down

The American College of Surgeons' guide to safe and effective pain control says the goal is to minimize pain, keep the patient moving and help them heal. That middle part matters: a parent too sore to walk to the bathroom isn't walking. What the guide says to expect:

• The home plan may start with non-drug measures (ice, elevation, rest) plus non-opioid medicines. After complex operations it may include an opioid at first, cut back after several days.
• For moderate pain, your parent may be told to take non-opioid medicines regularly through the day rather than only when it hurts.
• Unless their provider says otherwise, opioids shouldn't be combined with sleep aids, antihistamines, sedatives, anti-anxiety medicines, muscle relaxers or another opioid, and never with alcohol.
• If pain continues despite the plan, call the surgeon.

MedlinePlus's page on opioid pain medicines adds that if the doctor wants the medicine taken on a schedule, letting it wear off first can make pain harder to control. It also notes drowsiness and impaired judgment are common, which matters for falls. So keep a log on the kitchen table, one row per dose:

The "Given by" column is the one that saves you. With two or three helpers, it's how you avoid a double dose at 2 a.m. Keep the full list current in your parent's medication list, including anything the hospital stopped.

Store and get rid of opioids properly

The ACS guide says to hide or lock up opioids, keep them in the original bottle, and track how many pills are left. Follow any disposal instructions the pharmacist gave you. Otherwise, the FDA's disposal page says a take-back site or mail-back envelope is best for most medicines. Only if neither is available should you check the FDA flush list, which includes drugs containing oxycodone, hydrocodone, morphine, hydromorphone and several others. Don't flush anything that isn't on it.

Bladder and bowels: ask, every day

This is the awkward part, and the part that gets missed.

Peeing. The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases says it's common to develop temporary urinary retention right after surgery: IV fluids fill the bladder, and anesthesia can block the feeling of needing to go. Opioids and constipation are both on its list of causes. NIDDK says to see a health care professional right away if someone can't urinate or has severe belly pain, because acute retention can be life threatening.

Pooping. The ACS says stool softeners are always prescribed alongside opioids, and MedlinePlus adds fluids, activity and fiber. Ask the pharmacist which product and dose to use, and call the surgeon's office if days go by with nothing.

That's why the log has a "peed / bowel movement" column. It feels silly until the day it doesn't.

Watch for delirium

The American Geriatrics Society calls post-operative delirium the most common complication after surgery in older adults, and says it is a true medical emergency that needs immediate professional attention. It doesn't always look like confusion: it can look agitated, or quiet and sleepy, or both.

MedlinePlus's delirium page lists surgery, anesthesia, pain medicines, sedatives, poor sleep and infections such as urinary tract infections among the causes. It says delirium often lasts about a week and mental function can take several weeks to return, so some fogginess after she's been checked isn't a surprise.

The AGS says family often notices first. Use that:

• On the first evening home, write a two-line baseline: how your parent talks, whether they know the day, how they sleep. On day five, you'll have something to compare against.
• Keep glasses, hearing aids and dentures in use, not in a drawer; they help keep someone oriented. Our guide to glasses, hearing aids and dentures in the hospital covers keeping track of them.
• Put a clock and calendar in view, open the curtains by day, dim the lights at night.
• Protect a stretch of overnight sleep, and ask their doctor before giving any over-the-counter sleep aid. The AGS lists some medicines for sleep, itching and anxiety among those that can cause delirium.
• Keep them drinking and walking, as much as the surgeon allows.

Fall-proof the route they actually use

Your parent is weaker, maybe drowsy, and maybe new to a walker. The National Institute on Aging's falls and fractures page covers what matters most now:

• Stand up slowly. Getting up too fast can drop blood pressure and make someone wobbly, so have them sit on the edge of the bed first.
• If a medicine makes them sleepy or dizzy, tell the doctor or pharmacist.
• A cane or walker has to be the right size, and walker wheels should roll smoothly. If you borrow one, ask their provider to check it.
• Rushed trips to the bathroom raise the chance of falling. After surgery that can mean water pills, stool softeners doing their job, or a bladder that isn't emptying well.

Then walk the path from bed to bathroom at night with the lights off. Move the rug, the cord and the laundry basket, and add a night light. Put the phone, water, glasses and the urinal or commode within reach of the bed. For the room-by-room version, see our guide to making the house safer after a fall.

Wound care: clean hands, no extras

MedlinePlus's page on caring for a closed surgical wound is a good plain-language reference. The highlights:

• Leave the original dressing on as long as the surgeon says, but change it sooner if it gets wet or soaked.
• Wash your hands, including under your nails, before touching it. Wear clean gloves (not sterile ones) when changing a dressing for someone else.
• Don't put antibiotic cream, lotion, powder or anything else on the wound unless the surgeon tells you to.
• Don't pull at stitches or staples. If they don't dissolve, the surgeon removes them.
• Showering is usually fine after 24 hours, but wait for the surgeon's OK. Showers beat baths, because soaking can make the wound reopen or get infected. Pat the skin around it dry and let the wound air dry.
• Skip tight clothing that rubs the incision.

Take a phone photo of the incision once a day in the same light. Redness that "seems worse" is hard to judge from memory, and a photo can go to the surgeon's office through their patient portal.

Breathing and moving

If your parent came home with an incentive spirometer (the plastic breathing gadget with the little ball), use it. MedlinePlus's incentive spirometer page says to take 10 to 15 breaths every 1 to 2 hours, or as their provider instructs, and to hug a pillow against a chest or belly incision to ease the discomfort. It says to contact the provider for increased shortness of breath, chest pain, fever or more coughing. Sudden shortness of breath or chest pain belongs in the 911 row of the table above.

Short walks help with clots, too. The CDC's blood clot risk page (2024) says half of blood clots happen during or soon after a hospital stay or surgery, and lists older age and not moving for long periods among the risk factors. If the surgeon prescribed blood thinners or compression stockings, add them to the log.

Fluids and food

Dehydration sounds minor. A 2025 study in the Journal of the American College of Surgeons, described in an ACS press release, looked at Medicare patients over 66 after five major operations. It found 10.9% developed a new "geriatric syndrome" such as dehydration, delirium or malnutrition in the hospital, dehydration most often, and those patients spent fewer days at home in the following 90 days.

You can control the water glass:

• A full cup within reach at all times, refilled by whoever walks past. Follow any fluid limit the doctor set, for example for heart or kidney problems.
• Small, frequent meals if appetite is poor, following any diet instructions in the discharge papers.
• Fiber-rich foods if they're allowed.
• If they're barely eating or drinking for more than a day, note it and call the surgeon's office.

Who is with them, and when

The United Hospital Fund's family caregiver guide to surgery for older adults says support after surgery often means someone to pick up prescriptions, help your parent up from a chair, help with bathing, make meals and go along to follow-up visits. If you're doing complex tasks like wound care or managing medicines, it says to ask for training and for someone to call with questions.

For the first week, plan on someone in the house overnight unless the surgeon says otherwise. Nights are when the bathroom trips, the pain and the confusion show up. A simple rota keeps one person from doing all of it:

Put a name in each box, plus a backup's number. Our guides to sharing caregiving with siblings and having a caregiver backup plan are worth ten minutes now, before you're running on four hours of sleep.

At each handoff, whoever arrives reads the log first: last dose, last pee, last bowel movement, anything new. Two minutes, every shift.

When to ask about home health care

Ask the surgeon's office about home health if the dressing changes are beyond you, your parent can't get to the bathroom safely, they need therapy to walk, or nobody can cover the hours. Medicare.gov's home health services page says covered services include wound care for a surgical wound, patient and caregiver education, and physical and occupational therapy, for people who are homebound and need part-time or intermittent skilled care. A doctor or other provider has to see your parent in person and order it, and a Medicare-certified agency has to provide it. Medicare doesn't pay for 24-hour care at home, meal delivery, or help with daily activities when that's the only care needed. With a Medicare Advantage plan, call the number on the card to check its rules.

If home health was ordered and nobody has called within a couple of days, call the agency, then the surgeon's office if you can't reach them.

Week two: what changes

Week two is usually easier. The risk shifts from something dramatic to drifting off the plan.

• The follow-up visit. Ask whether it includes a wound check and whether stitches or staples come out. Confirm the date, address and driver, since your parent may not be cleared to drive.
• Bring the log, the photos and written questions. When can they drive, lift, climb stairs, bathe normally? Which medicines can stop?
• Taper the pain medicine as directed, and dispose of leftover opioids once the surgeon says they're done. If your parent still needs the same amount, or more, call rather than waiting for the visit.
• Check in with their regular doctor. Some medicines may have been paused or changed for surgery, and someone has to decide when they restart.
• Keep up the walking and the water. Week two is when people skip both because they feel better.
• Look at the rota again. Does someone still need to stay overnight? Ask at the follow-up visit if you're unsure.

Keep the paperwork where the next person can find it

When things settle, keep the discharge instructions, the log, the final medication list and the surgeon's contact details together. If your parent ends up in the ER, those are the first things anyone asks for, and an emergency information sheet for paramedics with the surgery, date and surgeon's name saves a lot of explaining.

Frequently asked questions

How long does an elderly parent need someone with them after surgery?

It depends on the operation and how your parent was doing before, so ask the surgeon. Many families plan on someone there around the clock, or at least overnight, for the first several days, then scale back once your parent can get to the bathroom, manage medicines and get up from a chair safely alone.

Is confusion after surgery normal in older adults?

It's common, but it isn't something to wait out. The American Geriatrics Society calls post-operative delirium the most common complication after surgery in older adults and treats it as a medical emergency. Call their doctor or the surgeon right away if your parent becomes suddenly confused, unusually sleepy or agitated.

What are the signs of infection after surgery?

MedlinePlus lists more redness, pain, swelling or bleeding; a wound that looks bigger, deeper, dark or dried out; drainage that increases, thickens, turns tan, green or yellow, or smells bad; and a temperature above 100°F for more than 4 hours. Any of them is a same-day call to the surgeon.

What are the signs of a blood clot after surgery?

The CDC lists swelling, pain, tenderness and redness in a leg or arm for a deep vein clot, and trouble breathing, chest pain, coughing up blood, a fast or irregular heartbeat, or fainting for a clot in the lung. MedlinePlus says lung clot symptoms mean the ER or 911.

Does Medicare cover home care after surgery?

Medicare covers part-time skilled home health care, including surgical wound care and therapy, for people who are homebound and have a provider's order, through a Medicare-certified agency. It doesn't cover 24-hour care, meals, or help with daily activities when that's all someone needs.

If you'd rather not build the fridge sheet from scratch

All of this works with a notebook and a roll of tape. The slow part is the background every helper needs: the medication list, allergies, doctors, insurance, the health care proxy, who to call. Emergency Binder Now pulls that together from about 25 minutes of guided questions into a printable binder with a one-page Emergency Information Sheet and a list of what's still missing. See a sample binder and decide whether it would help before the next surgery comes up.

This article is general information, not medical advice. Follow your parent's surgeon's discharge instructions, and ask their surgical team, doctor or pharmacist about anything specific to their recovery.