FMLA Leave to Care for a Parent: Who Qualifies and How to Ask

Yes, you can use FMLA leave to care for a parent if you're an eligible employee and your parent has a serious health condition. The federal Family and Medical Leave Act gives up to 12 workweeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in a 12-month period, with your group health insurance kept in place, taken all at once or in pieces. "Parent" means the person who raised you, not your spouse's parents. Tell your employer early, and expect to hand in a medical certification.

The short version

Are you eligible, and is your employer covered?

You have to pass two tests.

Your employer has to be covered. DOL's Fact Sheet #28 covers private employers with 50 or more employees in 20 or more workweeks in the current or previous calendar year, plus government agencies and public and private elementary and secondary schools of any size.

You have to be eligible. The same fact sheet says you need all three:

1. At least 12 months working for the employer
2. At least 1,250 hours of service in the 12 months before leave starts
3. A worksite where the employer has at least 50 employees within 75 miles

The third test catches people: a national company can be covered while you, at a small branch with nobody nearby, are not eligible. And 1,250 hours works out to roughly 24 hours a week, so part-timers should do the math.

Who counts as a "parent"

The regulation at 29 CFR 825.122 defines a parent as a biological, adoptive, step or foster father or mother, or anyone who stood in loco parentis (in the role of a parent) to you when you were a child. Then one blunt line: it does not include parents "in law."

The stand-in category is broad. DOL's Fact Sheet #28C gives examples: an aunt who acted as an employee's parent for part of his childhood, and a grandfather who raised an employee and is now hospitalized. What matters is whether that person had day-to-day responsibility for caring for or supporting you. If your employer asks for proof of the relationship, a simple statement that it exists is enough.

What counts as a serious health condition

Old, slow or lonely isn't enough on its own. DOL's Fact Sheet #28P defines a serious health condition as an illness, injury, impairment or physical or mental condition involving inpatient care or continuing treatment by a health care provider. These usually fit:

• A hospital stay: overnight in a hospital, hospice or residential medical care facility, plus the related recovery.
• A short, serious illness: more than three consecutive full days of incapacity, seen by a provider within seven days, with either a course of treatment or a second visit within 30 days.
• A chronic condition: one needing provider visits at least twice a year, with flare-ups over time.
• A long-term condition: such as terminal cancer or Alzheimer's disease, as long as a provider is still supervising care.
• Multiple treatments: such as dialysis or chemotherapy, for a condition that would likely cause more than three days of incapacity without them.

What "caring for" a parent covers

More than most people assume. Fact Sheet #28F says caring includes help with basic medical, hygienic, nutritional, safety and transportation needs, physical care, and psychological comfort.

The regulation at 29 CFR 825.124 adds three points that matter for adult children:

1. You can take leave to fill in for whoever normally cares for your parent, say when the aide quits.
2. You can take leave to make arrangements for changes in care, and it names transfer to a nursing home as an example.
3. You don't have to be the only family member available. If you and your siblings take turns, intermittent leave can cover your shifts.

Distance doesn't rule it out: a Fact Sheet #28P example has an employee travel abroad for three weeks to care for her father with Alzheimer's. If you're the faraway child, our long-distance caregiving checklist covers what to get done on those trips.

Intermittent leave and reduced schedules

When medically necessary, you can take leave in separate blocks or by cutting your hours each day or week. Fact Sheet #28's example: Kayden, a cook, takes turns with his wife bringing his father to dialysis, using five hours of FMLA leave every other Friday evening and some other evenings as needed.

Leave is measured against your normal workweek: at 40 hours a week, 12 workweeks is 480 hours, used an hour or a day at a time.

Two things to ask HR:

• Which 12-month period they use. Fact Sheet #28H says employers can use the calendar year, a fixed year, a year measured forward from your first leave, or a "rolling" year measured backward from each day of leave. Under the rolling method, hours used last spring come back gradually a year later.
• How to report follow-up absences. DOL's Fact Sheet #28E says that once you're approved, you're expected to mention the qualifying reason or FMLA each time you need leave for it again. "FMLA for Dad's infusion Thursday" does the job.

Your job, your insurance and your pay

When your leave ends, Fact Sheet #28 says you go back to the same job or an equivalent one with the same pay, benefits and terms. Cutting your shifts or moving you outside your normal commute area can be violations. Your employer must keep your group health insurance going on the same terms as if you were working, including family coverage, under 29 CFR 825.209. The flip side, from 29 CFR 825.210: you keep paying your usual share of the premium. The rights and responsibilities notice described below should tell you how to pay it during unpaid weeks.

FMLA itself is unpaid. You may use employer-provided paid leave at the same time if your employer's policy covers the reason, and your employer can require it. In DOL's example, Kayden's sick leave covers only his own health, so he uses general PTO for his father. Look for the words "family member" in your handbook's sick leave section before you count on it.

How to tell your employer

What to say. The first time, Fact Sheet #28E says you don't have to name the FMLA, but you must give enough detail for your employer to see it may qualify. A family member hospitalized overnight, and you out the rest of the week, is enough in DOL's example. Saying only that they're "sick" may not be.

When. If the need is foreseeable, like a scheduled surgery, give at least 30 days' notice when that's possible and practical. If you learn of it with less lead time, 29 CFR 825.302 says notice should usually be possible the same or next business day. For a true surprise, tell work as soon as possible and practical, generally within your employer's normal call-in rules, though nobody expects you to leave the ER to do it.

How. Follow your employer's usual leave-request procedure unless something unusual prevents it.

Why timing matters. Late notice without a reasonable excuse lets your employer delay, or in some cases deny, FMLA coverage. Wait two days when you could have called on day one, and coverage can start two days late.

What your employer owes you. DOL's Fact Sheet #28D says that within five business days of your request, your employer must tell you whether you're eligible and give you a written notice of rights and responsibilities. Once it has enough information, it generally has five business days to send a designation notice saying whether the leave counts as FMLA and how much time will be charged.

Medical certification and form WH-380-F

Your employer may ask for a certification from your parent's health care provider. DOL's Fact Sheet #28G sets the rules:

• You generally get at least 15 calendar days, and more if the office can't finish despite your diligent, good-faith efforts.
• If the employer says in writing that the form is incomplete and what's missing, you usually have seven calendar days to fix it.
• You're responsible for any fee the office charges.
• A diagnosis isn't required. The provider covers when the condition began, how long it should last, the care needed and how much leave that takes.
• Your direct supervisor may never contact the provider. HR or a leave administrator may contact the office only to authenticate or clarify the form.
• Recertification generally can't be required more than every 30 days, and only with an absence. If the form says the condition will last longer, the employer usually waits until that period ends, though it can ask every six months. A new certification can be required each leave year.

Most employers use DOL's optional WH-380-F. They can use their own form but can't ask for more than the FMLA allows.

The detail most guides skip: WH-380-F has a Section II for you, and the form says to complete and sign it before handing it to your parent or their provider. It asks your relationship, which kinds of care you'll give (transportation, physical care, psychological comfort and so on) and your best estimate of the leave or reduced schedule you need. Fill it in carefully. The doctor's office can't guess that you're the one driving to dialysis.

Your parent should know what the form says and agree, since it's their health information. If the office won't talk to you at all, see our post on HIPAA authorization for a parent.

Retaliation and where to complain

Your employer can't threaten, punish, suspend or fire you for requesting or using FMLA leave; Fact Sheet #28 counts write-ups and attendance points for FMLA absences as violations. You can complain to the Wage and Hour Division (WHD) or sue privately. WHD's complaint page gives the number, 1-866-487-9243, and says complaints are confidential. Fact Sheet #77B says an allegation generally must be raised within two years of the violation.

State paid family leave programs

DOL's Women's Bureau paid leave page notes there's no federal law guaranteeing paid family leave for private-sector workers. These states and DC run programs that, per their official pages, cover caring for a family member with a serious health condition: California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, the District of Columbia, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island and Washington.

Maryland has passed a program that isn't paying benefits yet. The list changes, so check your state labor department even if yours isn't named.

Some states define family more broadly than FMLA. New York's family care page lists parent-in-law and grandparent, and Rhode Island's caregiver insurance FAQ lists parent-in-law, grandparent and sibling. State claims also run on their own deadlines; Rhode Island's, for example, is 30 days from the first day of leave.

If you work for the federal government

Most civilian federal employees fall under Title II of the FMLA, run by the Office of Personnel Management. OPM's FMLA fact sheet says you need 12 months of qualifying civilian or military service, not necessarily consecutive or at one agency, and no 1,250-hour test. You can choose to substitute annual, sick, advanced or donated leave, but your agency can't make you. Postal Service employees and some others follow DOL's rules instead, so ask your HR office which applies.

Common mistakes

• Saying "Mom's not well." Give the facts that make it FMLA-shaped: hospitalized, surgery date, ongoing treatment.
• Waiting for the form before telling work. Notice comes first; the certification follows.
• Not tracking intermittent hours. Keep your own dated log. If your count and HR's differ, you'll want it.

If the leave won't stretch, our posts on respite care for caregivers and siblings sharing caregiving cover breaks and taking turns, and the caregiver backup plan covers who steps in when you can't.

What to keep in your binder

Keep the work paperwork in your own caregiver folder, not the emergency binder on your parent's fridge.

• Your employer's leave policy and which 12-month method it uses
• HR or leave administrator contact, plus any case number
• Copies of every leave request, with dates
• The eligibility, rights and designation notices you received
• A copy of the completed WH-380-F and the date you turned it in
• A running log of FMLA hours used
• Any state paid leave claim confirmation

If your parent was just admitted, our guide for when an elderly parent is hospitalized covers those first few days.

Getting the medical side organized

You can gather your parent's side yourself with this guide. Or Emergency Binder Now can do the organizing: about 25 minutes of guided questions produces a printable binder with a one-page emergency sheet, medications, doctors, contacts and a gap list, which makes the certification and your leave estimate easier to get right. You can see a sample binder first.

Frequently asked questions

Can I use FMLA to take care of my mother-in-law?

Not under federal FMLA. Some state programs, including New York's and Rhode Island's, cover parents-in-law, and your employer's own policy may be more generous.

Does FMLA pay you to care for a parent?

No, FMLA leave is unpaid. You can use your employer's paid leave at the same time if its policy covers family care, and a state paid family leave program may replace part of your wages where one exists.

Can I take FMLA leave a few hours at a time?

Yes, when it's medically necessary. Intermittent leave can cover appointments and treatments, or you can work a reduced schedule, counted against your normal workweek.

Can I be fired for taking FMLA leave to care for my parent?

No. Your employer can't fire or punish you for requesting or using FMLA leave. If it happens, contact the Wage and Hour Division or an employment attorney, generally within two years.

This article is general information, not legal advice. FMLA eligibility, employer policies and state leave laws vary and change, so confirm your situation with your HR office or the Department of Labor's Wage and Hour Division at 1-866-487-9243.